world class

I am a world class mess up. FML. My need for being acknowledged, from outside parties, is fairly high. I just seriously have an issue when I don't feel like a priority in any shape or form. Maybe it's kinda sad, but it doesn't make it any less true. People say how much they care, but when actions are speaking louder than their words, what are you supposed to believe?

I want someone to fight for me.

I need to know that you care. If you don't know how to show it, either find a way, or something. How can anyone be expected to believe something they can't feel? It probably has something to do with faith, but that's something I lack. I know that I'm a decent guy, I've got my issues for sure, but I'm still one hell of a find. I won't sit back and be a second choice, I want to be the only choice. I'm not going to be anyone's half boyfriend. I care for you a great deal, but not enough to sacrifice myself, my feelings, or my own personal value. You're a great guy, and I want to be with you. I don't know how many times I need to say it. You're beautiful, and it's always been more than skin deep. Sometimes I wish we could go back to the days when you somehow made time for me and we Skyped for hours. I miss our hours of talking, just looking at each other. It makes me sad on the inside. I miss you. You've said that if it's meant to be, then it will be. But it can only be if we both want it to be. It's hard to understand when you're passive aggressive with me. I'd rather you come right off and say what you mean instead of trying to ease the band aid off. Be blunt. I can handle it. Please.

P.S.

This started out as a regular blog, but then kind of morphed more into a letter.