so strange

This feeling. It's a new one for me. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision, if it was a mistake. Then I remember all the things I felt with you, good and bad. I realize I did make the right decision (it was for me) to end what we had, but then I wonder if enough time has passed before trying to communicate with you. I still have really strong feelings for you and it's difficult to forget about them. I do miss you still, but I can't bring myself to say anything to you. I wonder if you miss me, but I figure you don't otherwise I would've heard from you by now. I wonder if you ever really cared. You didn't seem to mind the night I walked out and left you. I can't speak for you, but it's just so hard to let you go.

I still wonder how you're doing. There are times when something awesome, or crappy, happens and you're still the first person I think about telling. But it's fading. I've thought about just waiting to hear from you, but then I figure if that were the case then I'd never hear from you. Why's goodbye so hard to say with you? Why can't I just move on? At least I haven't cried anymore. When did you last cry?

I've been thinking a lot. For me, I feel/think that ever since I broke up with you in September, we've had problems. You couldn't trust me. I couldn't comprehend why since I hadn't really broken anything off except our title. I understand it now. Fear is pretty compelling. The funny thing? I'd take you back in a heartbeat.