the 16th of August

I don't know why, but once again I feel like balling like a baby. Gah. It's been a strange day. In a good way of course.

1. It's my sisters 18th birthday!!!! WTF?! Where has the time gone? Seriously. It honestly gets me teary eyed just thinking about her growing up and the parts of her life I've already missed. She actually graduated high school in May, when no one (other than her family) believed she could do it. Now she's 18 and it just all seems so surreal. She is someone I feel very very protective over. I basically feel like a parent to her. I've helped take care of her basically since middle school and up. I'm scared for her though, for what the future may hold for her. I don't think I've mentioned this but she's mentally handi-capable. Looking at her you wouldn't be able to tell, but truth of the matter is, she'll probably never be able to live on her own. It's kind of sad, but everything happens for a reason. I just have an unbelievable amount of love in my heart for her. Pure innocence, and I worry at the possibility that some stranger will take advantage of her and steal away that light/innocence. :-S Gah.

2. The people who are replacing us here have arrived!!! Just another sign that we're coming closer and closer to finally being home!!! Of course, thinking about going home just makes me unbelievably happy, and sad at the same time. Sad for the things I've missed in the lives of those who matter to me. Sad for the things I couldn't be a part of, or for the times I couldn't be there to hold/console my loved ones. It honestly is serious torture being separated from my family/friends/loved ones. I hate it. Even if it is in the best interest of my country to be here, it doesn't make it suck any less. But I know I'm not alone. The people I care about miss me just as well, and wish I could be there for those things. *sigh* All in due time I suppose.

3. I've met someone. Someone who I think is pretty awesome and special. It's kinda silly, but I feel happy about it. It puts a smile on my face thinking about them. It sucks being here, away from them. But, I think it could easily be part of a great, solid foundation for a relationship. They're the last person I wanna talk to before I go to sleep, because I know I'll be going to sleep in a better mood with a smile on my face. I promised that I'd start writing more blogs so they'd have something to read in my absence while I'm traveling home also, so don't be alarmed when there's a span of a few weeks where I stop writing. Or if random small little blogs pop up. <3

I'm half tempted to write them a love letter here, but I think it might be a little too soon for that. We're trying to take things slow, and build something long lasting. Which kind of scares me, but it's what I've always wanted. It scares me because it's something I've never done before. Committing myself to someone is huge, trusting in them. It's frightening! But I know that the best things in life don't come easy, otherwise we wouldn't appreciate them. But still. I can't get ahead of myself either. I've never really been one to be free flowing, and just rolling with the punches. At least not in regards to relationships. I generally want to be in control so I can protect myself from getting hurt, etc. Either way, I'm excited for what the future holds for us. I think it'll be a love story for the ages. =)